Do i give enough?

We all live thinking we are imortals. I mean of course we know we are going to die but it seems so far away in the rush of all the important things we have to accomplish! My beautiful grand mother passed away when i was still a teenager and there isn’t a single day that i don’t thing of her in a way or the other.
The longing of her smile her hugs her odor “opium” all the secrets we share. I thought she would live forever never see her aging. 
A very close friend had an unexpected and sudden death in her family, the wave of despair comes and paralysed her. No words will comfort her.
I took me a while before going to sleep with the same endless questions  
 Do i give enough? 
Am i a good wife?
Am i good sister?
Am i a good daughter?
Am i a good friend?
Am i ……..
Looking back i don’t remember most of the discussions i had with my relatives or friends. So why have them in the first place? How can we erase the useless ego?

If i should die tomorrow…Do i have any regrets? Did i make up with past friends? Did i say how much i love my father for all the confidence he gave me? Did i say my mother how much i love her and admire her? Did i say my little big brother how much i am proud of him? Did i say my red hair friend how much she is a fighter and an example to follow? Did i say my astrologuer friend what an extraordinary intuition she have and how brave she is? Did i say my favorite single mother how she is a courageous?

Do i say enough how much I deeply LOVE  my half and how much i admire him? 
But more than saying it…am i living and acting with love? 
Do i listen enough?
Do i pay enough attention?
Do i ?………
What remain of us when we leave? 
Have a good week…

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