Mes 40 ans…Comme le temps passe vite

There’s the tradition in Portugal to celebrate the mother on each aniversary. BONNE ANNIVERSAIRE MAMAN aussi…I was very aware when i choose to encarnate in my mother’s belly that we have lived many lives before, it’s been a wonderful journey, since my youth not always easy as we are strong headed but when i look around i am always in awe of my mother generosity spontaneity joy…as a common friend says “sylviane is always the soul of a party” and i add SHE ‘S TRULY THE SOUL OF MY HUSBAND BROTHER AND MYSELF…and if God allows it of her grandchildren to be.
I am not a very extroverted person, rather shy beeing all day with my music in the studio creating makes my day! So when the idea of celebrating my 40 birthday arises i was reluctant, mixed feelings, still have to work my self esteem. and of course as Colin Tipping writes you get what you think…and there it was almost everyone confirmed the invitation and the day before or the D day……just came up with some excuse for not showing up…THE ONES WHO CAME ARE INDEED MY TRUE FRIENDS…but still there’s this crawling feeling who is turning me down, une sensation de déjà vu.
WHY do i always feel that others are more important
WHY do i value others more than me
WHY do i depreciate myself
WHY ………
WHY others are always more talented fun bright……than me
I wrote in a former page finally I LOVE MYSELF ……which is true but i realize not completely though otherwise i wouldn’t feel so sad and disappointed .
How many more excercises must i do to integrate that it s ok
i m a good person there’s nothing shameful inside of me
i don’t need to say yes……when i want to say NO
people won’t love me more if i constantly say yes on the contrary……..
Mixed feelings are hard to go but i trust they will ……
i want to TO GIVE A BIG HUG to my extraordinary husband that i profoundly love and admire.
Merci mon amour pour ta pacience ta force ton courage
as another friends say it’s karmic between you and Luis and i agree with her.

HAVE FUN…….I had last night ,i dance till exaustion great music BEST FRIENDS EVER super sangria….

Share this Post


Leave a Comment