DOUBTS and HOPES…

Working in my studio, several albums in progress, feeling excited again though there’s this unusual tiredness who kepts nagging me, i was wondering why is it that portuguese readers don’t comment more in my blog? The question is do they write on others blogs? I’ve discovered the last week that they are more people than i thought who actually follow me but it’s rather frustrating not having more feed back. I feel kind of lonely in this net world. So the question that arises is do i continue it or do i stop it? 
Many questions pop in my head: 
Is my blog interesting?
How could i improve him?
What lacks?
Should i write more about me? or less?
Should i show more or less pictures of my work?

I need the quietness of my studio
I need to be alone to create, every artist i guess
but….
I need to stay in touch
I need to connect
I need to feel that i’m not alone
I need to share
I need to exchange ideas, thoughts, experiences
otherwise…
i’m feeling more and more vulnerable
my “saboteur” gets in the way telling me that is useless
that i’m not an artist
that i’m not creative
that i have nothing new to say…bla bla ….


That is one of the main reasons i attend this craft and design fair every month.
I crave the public
I anticipate all the talk with others artists
I feel excited just to be among them
I love “small talk” with the public
I cherish every compliment 
I feel blessed  to create and to sell my art

I have many friends suggesting me to have a little shop, “Alex world” that would be awesome!
To be able to withdraw a little for flying and having my albums, agendas, necklaces in a little shop that would be a dream come true.
The seed has been definitely plant within me…i hope it will grow on his own time. 
Let’s ask God for advice he never turns back on us!
My grandmother had several boutiques one of “chiffons” and others librarys. She was made for it, always friendly, patient, smiling, suggesting. I take after her that’s for sure as i love the contact with the public.
I remember a few years back, having my astrologic theme made by a delicious and funny french woman who told me that one day i would stop feeding passengers and give other kind of food to the public.
I will ask my very intuitive and talented portuguese friend Ana for advice, though that make me immediately thinking how can i conciliate creating and being in the shop with the day to day worries of the bills coming in so one has to sell….See there’s still some work to do with my therapist!

Always the need  to control ones life when i should know by now that’s the only thing i can control…is the let go, “lâcher-prise”… but is an ongoing process i’m still a baby in the path but hopefully i will inprove.
I don’t know what planet is influencing me at the moment but it must be a confusing one, saturn maybe?
Lot of questions few responses need to quit…hey how about a good walk in the beach?


have fun….