Who am I ?

Am I in the good track? What is my purpose in life? Where do I belong? Do I make the right decisions? How can I improve myself? How can I stop repetitive patterns? How can I be more confident? What is there for me? Do I give enough? Do I receive enough? Who I am?

On love

I had this red cover for ages and as you know i’m more into beige. One thing leads to another, i get to be very adaptable last week everything seemed to broke and it did! So i have a new cell phone and had to run to Mac to understand how i could use bluetooth and recover my photos. So this unsettling changes were very positive as i decided to challenge myself in my studio, trying to create new albums with different covers. I was stuck at first, as i usually create something that i would put in my home but not everyone is in the whites and beige…which is ok of course. Being adaptable is one of my motus in life has everything changes and evolves, so it is a good thing to try new paths. Hope you’ll like it! This album is like a fairy tale, love the couple i imagined.  This handsome man with his moustache, looking very serious is very sensitive and profound and was in advance in his own time, deeply believing that the woman …

Rituals

I have just read the post of Nina Bagley about the importance in her life of rituals. She travels all over the year teaching her wonderful and so inspiring workshops and when back at home she lives in a remote and beautiful  place in the mountains. She leads the kind of life i long for…let’s see what HE has in mind for me? I do travel a lot has my first job is being a flight attendant, now up to twenty one years still a lot to go! I do have a lot of rituals too first thing in the morning when at home is scratching my husband back… and hugging him then the attention goes to the  cat Frimousse who litterally runs towards the kitchen as if he hasn’t eat in years while giving him his favorite dish “sardines” i prepare a french coffee that is an enormous bowl of strong coffee (my portuguese friends fail to understand how we french can drink so much coffee in a row, they are more into several italians coffees during the day …

Vataça de Lascaris

Remember I told about this extraordinary woman who lived back in the 13 century? She was the maid of honour of our much Queen Saint Isabel. They were both in the giving. Saint Isabel is known for her Roses miracle and her grand devotion and kindness. Vataça de Lascaris whose grandfather was the imperor of Byzance was married at thirteen to a much older man who happens to die 10 years later, living her with great wealth. She never remarried which at the time was very rare and she managed to remain very powerful and indispensable at the court. She was a woman ahead of her time, speaking latin, portuguese, spanish, french. She was a traveler, a business woman with a kind heart and completely devoted to her beloved queen. I had this request from Miguel Vilhena, film maker, who developed a passion about Vataça, to create an album related in some ways to our grand woman. It was a challenging and most interesting work. Let’s see what happens now… check his website www.fosforo-acv.blogspot.com  Enjoy your week end Be happy

Find the balance

I have just made this album…and sold it right away which is ok but i like to have them a little with me. My inspiration came back so let’s take the ride while is flowing! I’m debating as always with my sense of time flying and not knowing how to manage day to day life. One of my favorite artists Sally Jean retires for 6 months in her studio warning her friends that she will be unreachable and it seems to work for her.  It would be a complicated thing to accomplish for me as i sense that i need to be present and available all time! Feeling guilty and restarting biting my nails when not responding to their needs when all i want to do is hiding in my studio and create. Know the feeling…assertiveness is definitely awckard to me but is what life defies me to do  almost every day. How i love to be in my studio, time stands still, i feel creative, alive, whole. There’s a inside struggle in my need for others and my urgent …

Friend forever

Bom regresso ao Porto amiga. My friend is a rare and beautiful soul, one that we feel blessed to have for friend. She was my beautiful godmother at my wedding. I always carry her in my heart as we don’t get to see each other very often due to us living in diferent towns. She is not only beautiful from the outside but her inside is one that we all long to have; a generous and kind heart, a friend that i can call at 3 am in distress knowing that she will come to help me no matter how long it will take her to drive to Lisbon, a friend who knows it all, who understands everything, a friend who never judges others only herself, sometimes i sense she’s too hard on her, pushes her body to the limit.  She’s the mother of all of us She’s in the unconditional giving…her task would be each single day to have more time for herself  She’s an ancient soul with a thousand lives behind She’s a shining and remarkable soul I …

Friendship….

My session to the dentist was terrible (i’m not exagerating…or just a bit) have to return on thursday. No comments! I’ve got friends popping in from Paris and Porto which is great has there’s nothing like being with friends chatting for hours, laughing, eating, drinking even dancing and doing it all over again the next day. It fill one’s soul to connect with the ones we love and don’t see as often as we would want.    The Prophet   Khalil Gibran Speak to us of Friendship  And he answered, saying:   Your friend is your needs answered.    He is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.   When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay”.  And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;  For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations      are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.   When you part from your friend, you grieve …

Time to make an amend

Monday morning…another fresh week ahead and I am in a bad mood…My appointment to the “pain killer” is a 4pm, I feel dizzy and it seems that my energy was all taken from me. Know the feeling? When there is so much to do and the body is on strike…just washing myself seems a terrible ordeal.  I had a terrible argument with a close friend friday night and saturday i was ill, i believe there’s a connection as the mind-body work together.  She’s about to date a much younger man and in asking her what would her entourage think about it, our mutual comunication come to a stop.  I understood that what’s IN is to date much younger man which is not my case as my husband…is older! That we would all envy her of course being both strong head and sometimes stubborn it went crescendo…Sorry for the neighboors. It was very interesting afterwards to talk about it as we didn’t stay in our benches we made a move towards each other (that’s the good thing of ageing) and we …

I am a coward

I am a coward! I should have been to the dentist long ago… I’m so scared that i postpone it every single day. I’m lucky to have a very sweet kind and pro dentist who happens to be very patient but still…..deep down I don’t trust her or any other of their colleagues. So it turns out to be very complicated! My reptilian brain is scared out of death…when I in the waiting room my body feels tense and starts to sweat at high speed. it’s uncontrolable! Now is sunday so tomorrow I have to go, as i am suffering too much. silly girl! wish me luck! have a good and happy sunday

To remain a child

To remain a child is truly the secret of happiness. To value what we have instead of wanting always more and more. That’s basically what the journalist wrote in her article so how come it’s so difficult for most people? We are constantly submerged by advertising, trash magazines and tv a friend told me. Yes it is true but on the other hand you can turn the tv off and not reading those magazines (i know you don’t buy them….) in the hairdresser and so on… It is easier as the Dalai Lama says to live in beautiful hymalayas than downtown Paris at the rush hours (when the metro isn’t on strike of course! ) but i believe that it takes discipline to be truly happy.  The significant change around in years to come will definitely be “how to be positive and happy” and that from kindergarden till adulthood. The schools will have workshop on happiness as they used to have about values. Crazy idea? I sense a new era, our knowledge of the brain and his impact in our …