Once upon a time…

Just made this new album that i truly love. Love the real nest found under a tree in a friend’s house (merci Emanuelle), love the old buttons of the typing machine, love the vintage pages made out of resin ( my father is a quemical engineer worked his whole life with different kinds of resin so i guess it’s in my DNA) love the wool pocket handmade by my mom who’s a real knitter, love the door knob found in the oldest Lisbon flea market “feira da ladra, love the vintage photos that i have already used in others albums who have this nostalgia energy…LOVE my “Once upon a time” album. Hope you’ll like it too, i sense he will leave me soon as being so special and unique. Started my day with another session of therapy, who’s going very well , i can already feel the small changes and am comitted to make the huge ones, each day at the time. One of my dearest friend who’s  abroad for the moment, ask me what is ok to write in …

On passion

I read all the biographies about Amadeo Modigliani. His intense and tragic life has all the ingredients of a major hollywood film. There was this film with Andy Garcia and the french actress Elza Zylberstein who held the role of Jeanne who loved him so much that she commit suicide a few hours after Modi’s death and she was nine months pregnant. What a tragedy, him dying at the age of 35, so young, so full of life and creativity, and she out of despair killing herself. He was beautiful He was tormented He had an enormous talent He was starving and must today return on his grave after this naked painting being sold 69 millions dollars! Is the world going nuts?  He was a courageous man unlike the arrogant Picasso though extremely talented of course! I had a huge crush on Modigliani in my youth…seing myself as Jeanne, living in Montmartre but their reality was not a pleasant one as alcohol and drugs were their close friends.   He lead a tormented life filled with doubts about himself, about …

Dream big

Dream Big…I cherish the idea to be able to dream not to surrender to the pessimism that currently lies everywhere. I know there is a major crisis, we all have relatives and friends touched by unemployment,  drastic cuts in salaries but to dream and to feel deep inside that the wheel will ultimately turn out for the best, that there is a solution, that we will find the way no matter how difficult it seems is what i choose to believe everyday. Life is a struggle, we all have one moment or the other major issues to deal with, how we choose to face them is our own personal choice some will become bitter others will still smile to life an remain Happy. My last flight was an example, i flew with a stewardess in her thirties who from Paris till Delhi spit out all her rage, anger, deception and frustration…towards her employee, the world….. Do i consider it to be rudeness?  Are we punching balls?  Are the world responsible for her problems?  How come if good things happened to …

On laugh

I was feeling kind of sea-sick, being the victim again “poor me” i want to be home, i want to sleep in my own bed, bla bla bla…… and my husband called me on skype and that was so good because he didn’t enter my bad energy at all, instead he just make me laugh and laugh and laugh…..there’s a clever man! I’m on the right track again LOVE HIM  MOI AUSSI I AM BLESSED TO HAVE THIS MAN BY MY SIDE Just started a new book on dreams and coincidences “the three only only things” by Robert Moss how strange that my husband just called me when i am supposed to be sleeping already. …… xo

Light at the end of the tunnel

Two months ago, i had a very deep session with my therapist, i felt light and enpowered afterwards. I realized now how deep we went into my inconscious because i felt reluctant to get back, there’s one side of me who really wants to heal but of course there’s the “dark” side who is terribly scared of the unknown, of being unprotected which is the other way around of course! So i am comitted towards myself to pursue my therapy especially when i don’t want to go. Human behavior as always fascinates me! How we tend to repeat the same patterns over and over again. How we keep habits and thoughts that we know are definitely not good for us. Very strange our way of functioning, others  superior beings outhere must regards us as aliens!  Tomorrow heading to Shanghai, i travel with a very light luggage now, never know what i can find there! Very excited of course but today i will stay in my studio regaining energy, creating, listening to cool jazz, drinking hot tea with plenty of milk, …

On healing

I haven’t posted this last weeks as i have been living like a nomad! Staying at friends house in Paris as due to a fair there are no hotels available. That made me feel very uncomfortable and vulnerable but i’m happy to have reliable friends. It was a huge step for me asking as i fear more than anything in the world the rejection! I’m in the middle of heavy turbulences again feeling like i should be more, do more, improve myself….blabla what comes out of it is my self esteem in on the bottom again. Thanks God i have a appointment with my psy this week, have skip it for two month see the result! I don’t know for you outhere but for me it seems that everything is always very difficult to obtain and i’m just getting very tired, the urge to struggle is fading away at high speed. I know that we all have a mission but no clue for most of us on what is exactly “that mission”. Am i in the right track? Is there …

On power

I’m like the bird above ready to take off…another day spent on duty, in the airport, without being called.  It gave me the opportunity to stay with friends last night  that i don’t see as much as i want, not living in Paris.  LOVE  was our main discussion. How to find it, how to keep it, why love seems to run away from friends that we think have everything…and endless talk while sipping a few bottles of my favorite wine in the world, bordeaux “Château margaux” with various cheeses! There was this mutual friend who’s still single, feeling guilty that she quit at the age of 21 her first love who happens to be “prince charming”. She never forgot him always compare him with the other guys in her life, feeling deep inside that HE was the one and she had let it go. She started a search to find him after all those lost years and we cross our fingers that this will end ” they live happily ever after”.  The other friend feels emprisoned in a relationship where …

Old habits die hard

I had a wonderful week-end! And you?  I went to the theatre to watch Michael Douglas in his last film “Wall street” very good. He’s still though  ageing an handsome man and one of my favorite actors along with Di caprio. A very thoughtful film about greed, money, betrayal. passion, loose and win….with a very moral and hollywood happy end that i doubt could be reality, but who cares that’s the fun of it….and i do love happy ends (don’t we all? ) We have a dear friend who’s taking some vacation from husband and her 3 kids at my mom’s for a few days and that was fun too as we had intuition and tarot session. We choose at least ten questions that we withhold and then the other answer for us without knowing what is our question so the mental is put aside and the intuition can flow. For years now i have been practicing the tarot and love it, whenever a question arises i lay out my cards and my husband who is very intuitive as join …

on sheer pleasure

Wake up this saturday morning at 6am… to go shopping! Direction the oldest flea market in Lisbon. Nothing except vintage stuff could make me wake up so early on a saturday morning…i do love the feeling though, the excitement of searching, the anticipation of the cool object i’m going to find and…ta da…. Look what i ve found, a very old sewing box wow! then old spoons, old buttons, this beautiful little  french tin, old photographs, old books………… I was so excited, when i’m in the flow only my empty wallet can and do stop me, fortunately otherwise i recognize being a vintage book-addict. Tomorrow, cross my fingers full day in the studio creating youpiiiii……. Have a cool week-end  xo

On Marriage…

And what of Marriage, master? And he answered saying: You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of LIfe can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress …